How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
