The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
