Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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