the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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