either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
