I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Randomize
