Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Non-Jews are for practice
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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