I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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