everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
