i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
