this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
