everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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