I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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