i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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