I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
