I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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