I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
In America we eat man semen.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
