As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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