Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
