after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
