Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Randomize
