didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
