If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sext me about skeletons
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
