No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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