Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The uberlube is also flammable
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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