I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
