Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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