Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just forgot I was standing up.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
