Me too!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
