I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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