apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
