His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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