Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My vagina just clenched in fear
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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