Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize