remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize