my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
