reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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