Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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