Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How does it feel to date your dad?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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