I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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