Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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