I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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