My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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