i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
