Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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