in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
