hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
