I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i came on her dog
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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