My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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