This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
