there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
