planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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