why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
