I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
