If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
