Who wears a wallet chain?!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
