She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
