I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
