i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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